There is this conversational phenomena called "Preemptive futuristic listening". It's that thing we all do with other human beings. You know, when your mom takes on that one seriously abrasive tone? She clears her throat and employs that little sigh with a wheeze after which out pops that preparatory phrase "Hey honey bunches I just have a thought..." 

In that moment you get weird don't you? You know what exactly is coming. You've predicted that whatever mom is about to say it's going to be really annoying, obnoxious and probing. You also realize that you are not interested in listening to it. You tense up, you get defensive, you get passive, evasive, reactive and so forth. It's hard to have a conversation at this point. It really doesn't matter what she is declaring, what her intentions are, or for that matter what the possibilities of what she is proposing may actually be, you have checked out.

You are going to be absolutely convinced that she is the most obnoxious human being on the globe. You have ample evidence of course, and that proof often seems to come out in conversations doesn't it? "Mom, you do this all the time" and then an argument that spirals into an unforgiving tailspin, and you know how the rest goes. You preempted what she was going to do or say and you determined the outcome of the conversation before it even began. 

This sort of preemptive futuristic listening of others keeps you from hearing what is really being said. It costs you that necessary connection with others, negates any chance of being at ease, and causes stress and frustration.

Consider that you may very well be like that with absolutely everyone else in your life. Your parents often get the worst end of it, the explosive part of you. Try doing that with your boss or your lover and see how that works out (don't really try it). This is why new people can be so exciting, you haven't developed the sort of listening filter you have with those you've known for a long time and you greet the conversations with a feeling of discovery; fresh, new, organic and full of possibilities. 

You may maintain a straight face most of the time, but underneath there is a person who is dying to have a clean slate and really feel empowered in every conversation, internal and external. Some people are just plain crazy, or rather they tend not to hide it very well. They walk around on this planet pissed off at everybody- generally just afraid that absolutely everyone is out to get them to some degree. You know these people because they constantly look like they have just eaten a peice of rotten fruit.

On the other hand, have you ever been in a dialog with another person in your family, a friend or co-worker and they look at you a little cockeyed when you tell them how much you enjoy practicing Yoga on a daily basis? "Isn't that the thing that those tree-hugging hippies all do naked in the woods just before they sacrifice a goat to appease the rain gods? It's not for me, keep it away" Sounds like they might be listening to you in a particular way, too. You can't have that so drudge on and prove your point right?

 What would your conversations be like if you gave up the insistence of getting your point across, too? 

Something almost magical takes place when you give up the desire to insert your position, your opinions and unsolicited advice into every conversation. Make note that you probably do this in the conversations you have in your head as well. Chances are you'll find that the context of the content of your conversations is something entirely different from what you previously thought. Strange and wondrous things happens if you drop the need to predict others and prove your point. I'm just sayin'. Yoga